Chapter 18
Nancy (June 1957)
...
Nancy made Carolyn laugh. She thought that Carolyn's laugh was a sweet sound, one that she wanted to hear again, but Carolyn was no longer in the cheerful mood she had while they were in class. Her smile turned to a pout as she had no choice but to put on rubber gloves and grab a bucket of water and floor cleaner. The two women were busy scrubbing the hallway floors of floor C. Other floors of the hotel had carpets installed but floor C's halls were bare, most likely to elicit punishment such as this. Nancy did make Carolyn laugh, but in the middle of class while the mistress herself was giving a lecture. Mistress Laurier did not find her outburst as endearing. So the two young women were punished and had to clean the floors after their remaining classes of the day. Nancy felt gutted; she knew that Carolyn wanted to relax and read after the day's activities.
"I'm sorry," Nancy said as she was kneeling on the hardwood and scrubbing dirt with a brush. Carolyn didn't reply. She seemed too focused on the task at hand.
"You know, Laurier isn't here," Nancy said. "We can talk."
Carolyn wiped her brow with the back of her forearm. She looked at Nancy for a moment and then went back to work without a word.
"I'm sorry," Nancy said once again. "It was pretty funny though." She looked over at Carolyn and saw that she was smirking. Carolyn was holding back her laughter. This caused Nancy to stop scrubbing and she began to laugh at what she had said before in the classroom.
"I am truly sorry," Nancy snorted. "I didn't mean for us to get in trouble."
Carolyn couldn't hold back her laughter and Nancy got her wish to hear her laugh again. "I just hate that she's making us scrub the floors. They'll just get dirty again. Then we'll have to clean them again," Carolyn sighed. "We'll be trapped here forever."
"We're already trapped here," Nancy replied and she continued to giggle.
"Well at least before we weren't breaking our backs," Carolyn said.
"I don't know what you mean," Nancy said with a smile. "I break my back every day in class when we practice our curtsy."
Carolyn burst out laughing again while Nancy made an unruly face and stood up to pose in an exaggerated curtsy. Nancy loved to make her laugh. She had only known Carolyn for a short amount of time but she didn't feel a connection with the other girls, though she immediately clicked with Carolyn. They both got along just fine and even though Carolyn was mad at her for a moment, that quickly dissolved. After they got their laughter under control, they went back to work. The floor cleaner smelled like lemons and it made Nancy slightly dizzy. She hated citrus smells.
"Did Roger lend you Lovecraft?" Carolyn asked.
Nancy nodded. "He did. Want to read it when I'm done?"
"Of course. Roger won't mind?"
"No, he won't mind. He's actually quite kind."
"I like Roger," Carolyn said. "He's always reading. Good books too."
Nancy leaned in to whisper, "He's told me that he hates Laurier." She giggled.
"I don't blame him. He's probably tired of seeing her constant act. She's almost too proper. And our families want us to be like her."
"I can't imagine." Nancy scrubbed and scrubbed. Her arms were sore.
"I don't want to imagine, really." Carolyn leaned up from the floor and looked at the ceiling. "Do you think she'd make us grab a ladder and scrub up there?"
"Oh goodness, I hope not. I'd be damned."
Carolyn laughed again. Nancy loved her laugh. She never felt this way about a person's laugh before, not even Lonnie's. This had been the first time since arriving at the hotel that Nancy gave Lonnie any thought. The memory of how they ended things flushed back and she slumped.
"Are you okay?" Carolyn asked her.
"Yes, I'm fine. Just remembered something a bit terrible."
Carolyn stopped scrubbing the section of floor she was working on. Nancy watched her move stray hairs away from her face. "Do you want to talk about it?"
Nancy sighed. "It's just a boyfriend I had."
"Oh?"
"He broke up with me before I was sent here. Told me he was marrying a girl named Jane."
"I'm so sorry. That's terrible."
Nancy shrugged. "It's no big deal. I do miss him but then I think about how easy it was for him to leave. I thought he loved me."
"He must have had his reasons," Carolyn said.
Nancy scoffed. "Yes, he was afraid of my father. Didn't want to deal with my family. My parents scared him off."
"Well, it's his loss."
"I suppose."
"He's Jane's problem now," Carolyn chuckled.
Nancy smiled in silence for a moment before replying. "I just wish things turned out differently, you know?"
Carolyn nodded. "I know. You'll find someone better for you than Lonnie."
"You mean my father will find someone better for me. That's why we're here isn't it?"
"I don't wish to marry," Carolyn confessed and Nancy looked at her and saw sadness. "I've never liked boys—men, in that way. I mean I've found them easy to befriend but to be with as boyfriend and girlfriend? Or husband and wife? I don't know what that feels like, to want what so many other girls want."
"Oh," Nancy said quietly. "I sort of understand what you mean."
Carolyn looked into Nancy's eyes. "You do?"
"I mean, I did love Lonnie, I loved him a lot. But—promise you won't tell anyone."
Carolyn leaned in closer and nodded. "Not a soul."
"I've always thought women were quite pretty," Nancy whispered.
A smile broke across Carolyn's face and she began to laugh. There it was again, Nancy thought.
"Oh if the mistress heard," Carolyn said, "she'd have us sent straight to a loony bin."
"Good thing she isn't here," Nancy replied.
"That is a good thing."