Chapter 7
Lane (March 2023)
...
There was a moment that lived in Lane's mind unconditionally. A moment with Atlas, during a short period of time when he was nothing but loving. That short period of time did not last long but the moment was one of Lane's favorites. Lane scrolled on their phone, looking at pictures of them together. That's when they saw the photo evidence of the favored moment. The photo showed Lane and Atlas at a park during a warm autumn day. They stood close to each other to fit their faces into the frame and Atlas wore a large smile. In the photo, Lane looked at Atlas with such devotion in their eyes. Their love shined through the photo and they looked like the happiest couple in the world. In the background, Lane could see part of a large fountain and a silly mime standing triumphantly next to it as if she were fishing. The day the picture was taken, they had gone to the park to walk around together. They fed ducks and koi fish that swam around in the ponds and Lane remembered they had tacos from a food stand that was operating in the park. It was a bit of a hot day but the breeze kept them cool in the sun. The pair skipped over wooden bridges and laughed at the mime performance in the park by the fountain. They dropped five dollars into the mime’s bowler hat. She smiled and danced for the couple. Later that day, while still enjoying their time in the park, they returned to the food stand for more tacos and shared a glass bottle of soda. When the sun started to set they joined a crowd at an outdoor performance from a band neither of them had heard of.
Lane looked at the picture on their phone fondly. That was the best day they had together. Lane knew this and it made their heart sink.
"Were there other good times?" Lane thought.
They thought about other times when being with Atlas was a good thing. They thought about the time Atlas picked them up from work during a thunderstorm or the time he made them breakfast and then they went out to see a movie. Lane thought hard about the other good times. One time, Atlas knitted them a throw blanket for their birthday. He even used Lane's favorite colors; purple and gray.
Lane continued to scroll through their pictures, hoping that more memories of the good times would pop up when they looked at them. Lane's photo gallery reminded them of the time Atlas surprised them with a beach weekend and the time when they went to a horror movie drive-in. Lane smiled at the pictures and the memories that they were bringing back. Then they saw one particular picture that sent Lane's heart sinking again.
It was a photo that Lane had sent to Ophelia. They meant to delete the photo afterward but Lane must have forgotten to do so since it was still on their phone. It was a picture of Lane's wrist with deep bruising running down their forearm. The bruise itself was blackened in some areas and dark purple in others. The skin around the bruise was splotched yellow. Lane stared at the picture and remembered what Ophelia texted back when they sent it.
"What did he do?!"
It wasn't the first time that Atlas had hurt Lane but it was the first time Lane had reached out and told Ophelia about the fight they had and what Atlas did in retaliation. That day was a day Lane did not want to remember.
"Where are you going?" Atlas said while standing in the kitchen. Lane was dressed nicely and about to head out but they stopped in the kitchen to get a drink of water before leaving. They were chugging the water when Atlas asked his question and could not immediately answer him. So Atlas asked again with more sternness in his voice. "Lane, where are you going?"
Lane sat the glass in the sink. "I was gonna meet some friends for lunch, remember?"
Atlas scoffed. "Actually, I don't remember."
"I told you a week ago that I was gonna go out with Addison, Dylan, and Reese. From school? We haven't seen each other in a while and made plans to catch up. I also reminded you last night."
"You didn't say anything about it last night."
"Atlas, yes I did. You even said okay."
"I would have remembered if you told me. You didn't tell me."
"Atlas, I did. I need to go now. I'm going to be late."
Lane made their way to the exit of the kitchen to go into the living room but Atlas quickly stepped around them to block them from leaving.
"You can't go. You didn't tell me about this. I made plans for us today."
"Dude, I can't just not show up. I already texted them that I'm on the way."
"Well, text them you can't go. Something came up."
"I'm not doing that. I told you this a week ago." Lane tried to get around Atlas but he pushed them back.
"Why do you wanna go so bad, huh? Are you trying to hook up?"
Lane laughed. "With who?! Are you worried about my straight friend with a husband or my two lesbian friends who are dating each other?"
Atlas grabbed Lane's wrist with such force they felt his nails dig into their skin. Lane tried to pull back.
Atlas exhaled and looked Lane in the eye. "Don't laugh."
"You know I would never cheat on you."
"Do I know that? Lane, you know how I've been hurt before."
"Atlas, of course I know! But you know I would never cheat on you. You know I'm not like that. You know that I don't feel that way about people!"
"How can I be sure about that?" Atlas' grip tightened around Lane's wrist.
"You are hurting me."
"Answer me! How can I be sure of that?"
Lane pulled their arm back but Altas was too strong.
"We've been over this so many times, Atlas. I'm asexual. I really, honestly, don't feel that way about people."
"Except for me, right?"
Lane winced at the pain. "Yes."
Atlas looked Lane up and down without another word before pulling them by the arm into the living room. His grip didn't loosen until he threw Lane down on the couch. Altas went back into the kitchen and poked his head back into the living room.
"Like I said, cancel with them. I've already made plans for us. We're watching a movie. I'll be right back with snacks."
Atlas disappeared into the kitchen to grab chips and Lane was left on the living room couch, rubbing their sore wrist that would turn bruised the next morning. They kicked off their shoes and pulled out their phone to text Addison.
"I'm so sorry, Addy. I can't make it today. Something came up."