Chapter 42
Nancy (March 1958)
...
Tommy listened to Nancy explain her relationship with Carolyn and while worried of his reaction, he remained totally calm to her surprise and his face did not change expression much. He listened intently, not speaking until she was finished with her confession.
"Well?" Nancy asked nervously when her brother remained silent.
"You're in love?"
Nancy nodded. Tommy puffed on his cigarette. The ashes fell on his clothes but he didn't seem to notice.
"Father and Mother would never accept this," Tommy said.
"I don't care what they think," Nancy replied. "I need to know what you think."
"Are you really in love? You were with Lonnie for a while. Didn't you love Lonnie? This seems to be happening too soon."
Nancy sighed lightly. "I did love Lonnie. I truly did but my love for Carolyn is so much more, Tommy. She loves me too, so much! This is different."
Tommy let out a small smile. "And you want me to help you run away?"
Nancy nodded with tears in her eyes. "If you can. You know the life they want for me isn't what I want. I want a life with Carolyn. Tommy, I hope you understand. This isn't a game or something to be taken lightly."
"Of course this isn't to be taken lightly, Nan. This is a huge deal that would disrupt everything. If you leave, there is no turning back. Father would never accept you. Mother would never want to see you again. Are you sure that's what you want? Because I can't have them ask me to never see you again. I've already lost the past year. Now you come back telling me that you want to run away with a girl? This is too much, Nan."
Nancy sniffled and her tears fell in heavy droplets. "I wish things could be different, I really do. But this is who I am and I know that they'll never accept me. I know that if I leave with Carolyn I won't be part of this family anymore but that's the thing, Tommy. I never felt that I was. I've always felt out of place. I never wanted to get married to a man and be a wife and have children to please Mother and Father. That's not me. This is me, Tommy. And I need your help to be able to live my life truly before it's too late."
Nancy looked into Tommy's eyes. He didn't seem angry with her at all. She hoped that the next words he would speak would be words of acceptance. Tommy let out a deep sigh as he lit another cigarette.
"You're always going to be my sister."
"I know."
"I will help you," Tommy said. "I will get you money but I can only do it just this once. After this, you're on your own."
"Thank you, Tommy. Really, thank you so much! You don't know how much this means to me."
"Where will you go?"
"We have a friend. His name is Roger. He said he would let us stay with him and his boyfriend until we can find a place of our own."
"Well, I can't let Roger do all of the work," Tommy laughed. "You will wait here in the car while I get the money. I have cash inside and it should be enough to get you both going. Dad can never know that you were here, understand?"
Nancy nodded. "Yes, I do. Thank you."
Tommy left the car and disappeared into the house as Nancy dried her tears. After several minutes, Tommy returned to the garage and got back into the car with a heavy-looking brown paper bag. He didn't say anything as he handed the bag to Nancy. She took it and looked inside and saw that it was stuffed with rolls of cash. She couldn't believe it.
"Where did you get all of this?" Nancy asked.
"Let's just say I'm great at poker," Tommy chuckled.
"Tommy. Gambling?"
"It's not a problem. I swear it."
Nancy nodded. "It better not be, mister."
Tommy laughed. "Nan, really, you don't need to worry. I'll win that money all back in a few games." He gently punched her on the shoulder. Nancy punched him back and laughed.
"Let me drive you back to the station."
"Are you sure?"
"What do you mean? Of course I'm sure! I want to see my baby sister off before I'm never able to see her again."
Nancy sighed. "You'll be able to see me again."
"It won't be easy."
"It will be!" Nancy replied. "You may have to keep it secret from Father and Mother but I will write to you. You'll know my address once we get settled. And you'll be welcome any time."
Tommy chuckled. "You and Carolyn can come over to my house whenever I finally move out. I do need to meet the girl whom my sister is running away with! I just didn't think you'd be leaving before me."
Nancy laughed and took a cigarette from Tommy's case that he placed on the dashboard. He lit it for her and she savored the smoke.
He sighed, "So, you're really in love, huh?"
"I really, truly am."
"And she loves you?"
"I'm the love of her life," Nancy giggled, "and she's the love of mine."
Tommy drove Nancy back to the train station. He parked at the curb right at the entrance to the station building and as she got out from the passenger's side, she clutched onto the paper bag of money Tommy had given her. He had gotten out of the car as well, walked over to his sister, and for the first time, Nancy saw her brother cry.
"This is it then," Tommy said while wiping his tears and laughing at himself.
"You will see me soon." Nancy hugged her brother tightly.
"I'm happy for you, Nan," Tommy sniffled.
"Thank you so much."
"You need to do what's best for you and you're not afraid to do what it takes. I'm so proud of you."
"I love you so much, Tommy."
"I love you too. And I want you to know that I do accept you."
"That means the world to me."