Chapter 48
Nancy (December 2018)
...
After waking and barely being able to turn her head to check the time, she noticed that she was feeling weak that morning and couldn't get out of bed. Nancy was a bit surprised as she was able to get out of bed the day before without any help from Carolyn. It started toward the end of summer; Nancy would need more and more assistance with doing her daily activities. This morning was different from her previously energized day though and she tried to get out of bed to no avail. Nancy felt stiff all over and felt as though she could sink down into the bed and vanish. Carolyn wasn't next to her in bed so Nancy figured she must be down in the kitchen making breakfast. Nancy took a deep breath in, noting the cold in the room as she looked at the electric fireplace heater in the corner by the door. It wasn't turned on.
"Carolyn?" Nancy called out. There was no response and she sighed. She shifted slightly to get more comfortable and after fidgeting for a minute, she felt snug. A few minutes later Carolyn came into the room, carrying a tray of breakfast. "Oh, you're awake?" Carolyn said. "I was just coming to wake you up and surprise you with your favorite." She placed the tray on Nancy's lap and Nancy saw over-easy eggs, toast, seasoned home fries, maple sausage patties, and a glass of apple juice.
"I can't move," Nancy said weakly. "Everything hurts."
"Are you alright?" Carolyn said concerned. She picked up the tray of food and placed it off to the side so she could examine Nancy who was breathing heavily.
"I don't think I can get out of bed today," Nancy said slowly.
"Oh," Carolyn replied, "you were doing so well yesterday. When I told Doctor Henry on the phone he said he was surprised."
"It surprised me too," Nancy chuckled, "but this had been going on for months now. I'm afraid it's not going to get better."
Carolyn frowned. "Don't say that, Nan. Here, let me get you your medicine." Nancy watched Carolyn shuffle over to the dresser to retrieve her pill bottles. She hated the sight of them; she thought she was taking too many and disliked this part of the morning and evening. Carolyn placed the pill bottles on the nightstand. "Here, let me sit you up," she said as she carefully propped Nancy up and fluffed her pillows. Nancy watched Carolyn as she reached for the breakfast tray and stared at it when it was placed back on her lap.
Nancy smiled. "It does smell good. I think I need help though."
"That's what I'm here for." Carolyn fed Nancy small bites of her breakfast and made sure not to drop any food on the bed. Nancy loved the taste of Carolyn's cooking and she did enjoy being fed breakfast in bed. The food distracted her from the pain she was feeling and after she had finished eating every last bite to her own surprise, she took her colorful medications, and the pain she felt began to fade away. Even though the pain subsided, Nancy still felt too weak to leave the bed and Carolyn stayed with her. She pulled up a chair close to Nancy's bedside and the two of them watched TV. After a while, Nancy was beginning to get bored of television and looked over at Carolyn.
"Could you read to me?" Nancy asked.
"You don't want to keep watching?"
"No."
"Okay then."
"Just for a bit," Nancy replied. "Then I want to go outside and see the snow."
Carolyn nodded. "What would you like me to read?"
Nancy thought for a moment. "The Tale of Despereaux."
Carolyn laughed. "You sure love that story."
"I adore that little mouse."
Carolyn left the room to get the book and came back a few minutes later with it in her hands. She sat down in her bedside chair and flipped through the pages. "Do you want me to continue where we left off?"
Nancy nodded weakly and listened to Carolyn's voice as she read from the children's book. Her voice and the story soothed her aches; her mind disappeared within the tale and she could see the little mouse named Despereaux, wearing red thread around his neck while on his way to the dungeon to meet his fate.
After Nancy decided she was done listening to the story, Carolyn helped her out of bed and they slowly made their way out of the room, down the short hallway, and to the stair lift. Carolyn was careful when she placed Nancy in the chair and fastened her in.
"Ready to go?" Carolyn asked.
Nancy nodded. "Down I go."
The stair lift whirred and buzzed as Nancy descended the stairs to the first floor of their home. With her tired eyes, she looked around at all of the wonderful things they had collected over the years. All of their furniture was secondhand or thrifted, and Nancy always found the most interesting pieces. Her eyes were fixated on a lamp but couldn't remember where she had gotten it from. She suspected it was a gift from Roger and his husband Sebastian. She couldn't think of anywhere else it could've come from. Carolyn made her way down the stairs slowly and Nancy was only slightly jealous that she had no need for the buzzing stair lift. She was also glad.
Carolyn helped her out of the stair lift and into her wheelchair.
"Ready to see the snow?" Carolyn asked. "I think it should be snowing right now too."
"I'm ready."
After bundling up, Nancy was wheeled out onto the front porch to watch the quiet snowfall. Their garden looked so empty without anything growing in it and Carolyn talked about what she wanted to plant next spring. Nancy felt the icy air on her cheeks and remembered the night they ran away.
"I think it was colder back then," Nancy said.
"Back when?"
"When we left. Way back when."
Carolyn thought for a moment and nodded. "I think it was colder."
"Let's go inside by the fire?"
"Okay."
Carolyn brought them both in from the cold and shut the front door, locking it behind them. She helped Nancy take off her winter hat, scarf, and the thick blanket that was wrapped around her. After wheeling her into the living room, right next to Carolyn's rocking chair, Carolyn lit a fire in the fireplace and soon the room was pleasantly cozy. Nancy felt the warmth of the fire on her face. It felt much better than the icy winds that rustled outside. Carolyn went into the kitchen for a moment and came back with two mugs of hot apple cider. She handed a mug to Nancy who gained a little strength to be able to sip on the soothing drink. It was her favorite. Nancy placed her empty mug on her side table and looked over to her wife that was glowing in the soft light from the fireplace. The sound of wood crackling lingered through the quiet living room. She reached out her hand toward Carolyn who was sitting in her rocking chair next to her. Carolyn noticed and took her hand, leaning over to kiss it. Nancy felt Carolyn's breath on her skin.
"I love you, Carolyn," she said with sleepiness in her voice.
"I love you too, Nan. So much."
Nancy leaned back in her wheelchair and closed her eyes. She listened to Carolyn hum and the sound of the crackling fireplace as she began to drift off. Her thoughts were all on Carolyn as she continued to fade deeper. She knew this was it, that she wouldn't wake up again, and she was all right and happy with how her life turned out. The last thing Nancy felt was the warmth of the fireplace and the warmth of Carolyn's hand holding hers.